Leftover Emotions


How complex it is... How do we start to love someone? It begins with attraction, leading to a crush, and then evolves into idealization. We place them in the highest position and admire them. When we have the chance to understand each other, that admiration can bloom into love. But what if we’re not given a chance to know one another? What ends up as unrequited or unnoticed love can lead to grief—a grief that haunts us for a lifetime. This is not just about romantic love, but all other aspects of love, too.


I read about the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. That's true. Ironically, acceptance is love, and acceptance is the final stage of grief that allows us to live. To me, love isn't an isolated emotion. Love always comes, grows, stays, and leaves alongside other emotions. I believe love is always accompanied by something else—happiness, sadness, fear, etc.


But I've felt two complex emotions with my love—guilt and grief. The guilt echoes like a haunting whisper, holding me back from moving forward, while the grief I carry is like a tiny boat lost in a shoreless sea, adrift with the currents of unrecognized love. It’s the love that's unnoticed, unrecognized, and unsaid. The guilt stems from what happened, and the grief is rooted in what I never said. Somewhere, I read that "grief is all the ‘I love you’ we never told." That makes sense to me.


Even in the stages of grief, how we act and reflect that grief is significant. At first, we refuse to accept the pain, and a rage grows within us, which becomes a thorn in our minds. We become more furious, and that anger often turns inward, directed at ourselves for not making it happen. Then, we try to become like what or whom we lost. But after a long phase, perhaps a few of us eventually accept the grief and find ourselves.


As long as love exists, we grieve 🤍..


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